Confessions Of A Confused Genealogist
Sep 7th, 2008 by kenopoly
OK, I’ve tried to hold all this in but I need to confess a few things to my readers.
First off, I love doing genealogy and it really has helped me to get some focus in my life. Doing genealogy has been so rewarding for me. It has helped me to reestablish relationships with cousins and aunts and uncles that I had lost touch with throughout the years. We just get so busy with our own lives sometimes that we don’t have time to do and go as we did in years past. In the past few years I have been so blessed to rediscover some great people in my family. The sad part is that I have also had to deal with losing those that I have grown to appreciate and look up to. However, I also have encountered a few problems. That will be the biggest portion of today’s ramblings.
I wonder how many people will be able to relate to me on this question. Do any of you have relationship issues with your immediately family (i.e. mother, father, sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews) that lead you to ponder why you even bother researching? In the past year my excitement for my research has dwindled slowly mainly due to some “bad blood” between my siblings and I. I must confess that I have tried several times to resolve it but it seems that every time that I believe it is getting back on track that I find myself being slapped down again. This makes it very hard to focus on family!
Have any of you ever experienced this? Do you feel it is appropriate to try to be the family historian when you can’t even get along with your own family? It is to the point that I told my wife yesterday that I am ready to become the black sheep and just consider myself dead to those who are the biggest problem.
I don’t want to reveal details of what the problems are. I just wanted to toss out a question to my readers and see what they thought. It just seems so hard to be able to focus on writing family history when you feel so alienated from your own family. Of course, today that is a common occurence in some families.
Please feel free to post comments and suggestions.
Thanks,
Ken
Having lived through some similar experiences with my in-laws, I can say that these things can work themselves out, even though it can take years. Sometimes there needs to be some growing up or moving on for both sides.
My advice is to work on the family lines right now that don’t require interaction with those you are in conflict with, whether it is working on ancestors further up your family tree, or working on your wife’s family tree.
I have to say I’m glad we stuck it out. We’re now both pretty close to my in-laws and they have shared some wonderful family stories and photographs with us in the last few years; things I would never have imagined 17 years ago.
Good luck!
Thanks Miriam! I must say that I do respect your opinions and I am so thankful that you replied. Unfortunately, almost as if it was meant to be, today there was a breaking away and a certain part of MY family no longer exists, at least that is the way it has to be for now!
Perhaps the years will change things but, right now, I don’t see it happening. It’s sad because you hate to see these things but I know that every family has these problems.
Thanks again for your reply and have a wonderful week!
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